Loving those who cause you pain ~ moved from old url

KERRY

Silver Birch says:

It is easy to love those you love. There is no virtue, no saintliness in that. But to love those you do not love, that is the attribute of an evolved soul.

So... In your opinion is it possible to love those who cause you pain? those who abuse? those who are negative energies?

Is it something that ultimately we all learn to do to evolve spiritually?

Is acceptance the same as love or does this have to run deeper?

How is this possible?

This should make for an interesting discussion- please respect everyones opinions and speak with honesty, clarity and freedom.

Love and Light, Kerry

LOU
this is a raw subject for me but here i am going to give it my best possible answer before turning into a gibbering wreck of words that make no sense at all

why are hate and love so close connected? so close that you can feel it both at the same time?

the feelings of love for a person is of the same intensity of hate i also feel at the same time. So to answer your question, yes it is possible to love and hate someone at the same time. Both are emotional investments in a person, both require that you do care. its the stopping the love i have the problem with...i continually reasure myself in my mind that things will change,,,that he or she will change ...that things can be as good as the love and also the hate i feel.

Though for some reason the hate part gets me more enraged..makes me want to talk about it more than the feeling of love...which is more easily accepted by me?

lmao am i ranting?
Someone said that hate is the opposite of love. This is very untrue. The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference. That is why people say there is a very fine line between love and hate. Another common saying is that you must love someone before you can hate them. Hate is a very powerful emotion, as is love. I used to not believe the loving before hating thing because there were people that I thought I hated that I definitely never loved. But then I learned I just really didn't like them, then realised that I was wasting energy on people I didn't like, hence... indifference took over.

You can definitely love and hate someone at the same time. You can find out that the person you are in love with cheated on you and you are filled with complete and utter hatred and, at the same, pain because you know you still love them. You can be in love with someone and hate them at the same time because they don't reciprocate that love

on the other hand there is this argument that also battles inside my head and indeed my heart

I do not believe that anyone who harms another can be in love with them, unless the harm occurs because of a unique and extremely stressful event. But yet again am i excusing the facts.? People who routinely abuse another do not love them and are not worthy of having love reciprocated. Since love is an experience of sharing and commitment, hate cannot be part of it.
so there it is...a heap of words that make abso no sense yet i feel relief at getting them out x

found this online just wanted to add it...for the acceptance part of the post x
Love and Empowerment

. I will do my best to love and empower myself to be the best I can be every day of my life. By making this commitment to yourself, it becomes easier to love and empower those around you. But do you really want to give this gift to all other people? What if you really don’t like someone? In this case, you can remind yourself that it is usually a person's personality that you don’t like—the mask or dark clouds blocking their deeper essence. Remember that beneath the mask is a shining divine essence. While acknowledging those parts you don’t like, do your best to empower the shining being hidden beneath the mask or personality that you don’t like. You can choose to love and empower the divine spark within all.

so its basically saying that its possible to hate a persons personality and who he or she is ....yet also to love the divine spark..spirit or soul beneath.

ANTAM

I would say that i love people and dislike them at the same time, not hate but i dont really like them much.

I think acceptance is a good word for people we love and dislike at the same time, we accept that we love them and have to accept there not very nice or we just dont gel well.
I try to give love to people i dont like and say to myself i wish my enemies no harm but it is not that easy and thoughts take over especially when its through hurt, by loved ones or by nieghbours, it makes no difference to myself i do my best but its so hard and at times i manage it and at times i dont.

I totally agree with lou about being in love with someone still and wanting to hurt them back at the same time, its a wrestle with your heart and your mind and i dont think anyone wins.

Really interesting topic and provokes some deep emotions and spiritual searching ty x

PURPLE 1

I do have an answer but feel I need to do some work ( of the paying kind)first as I think my answer may be a little long winded.
But first a quick reference to antam's first post: and my thoughts only remember,
the soul of a person is the true 'being' of a living thing/human and is one that returns again and again to learn the lessons that they didnt learn before their previous life.This is what we love.
Their personality is the one thing that changes from every day occurances and this is the one we 'love' to ' hate' and makes us decide upon the choices we make with this peerson.
lol Got it so far
ok now i have confused you a bit I will get back to work and return at lunch
love Purps xx

KERRY

I am loving these responses and feel maybe, being as I started this, I ought to add a bit myself. Like Purple 1 though- it will be in segments as there is so much to say and I want to get it right! lol

So here goes....

Is it possible to love those who cause you pain? those who abuse? those who are negative energies?

Ok, well so far we have looked a lot at the fine love between love and hate- ie- hating someone you love. What if there is no love so it would be loving someone you hate? you see there is a difference as love, I think, is the strongest of emotions and if you love someone but also hate them then I can understand love will rule. But if you don't love that person in the 1st place then love cannot rule so its gonna be hard to get over the hate issue...with me so far? lol. So I can only get my head round this if I accept there are numerous forms of love. Love for your children, Love for your lover, Love for people who make your life happy- family and friends and maybe there is a ....dodgy grounds here....Lesser Love? An impersonal love? A love that loves because it is good and healthy and right to love but does not have the personal strings of the aforementioned loves? Tricky, eh. OR... Is Love just Love and there any no differences and we are expected to love ALL AND EVERYTHING with that same deep feeling? Maybe this is true on a spiritual level, on a soul calling but the human mind, I feel, cannot grasp that as truth and actually live life that way- loving ALL AND EVERYTHING the same. The human mind cannot surely grasp that an abuser, a torturer, a murderer, a sex offender should be loved- in any given sense- which is why I wonder if acceptance should be acceptable as opposed to love being the all.

OOhhh, head hurting, lol- will be back in a bit to add a fair bit more!!

Love (for the people who make my life good, lol) and Light,

Kerry x

im so glad this has been re posted. Looking back i cant believe that i wrote those words...yet still i feel totally the same way

thanks hun x

Number of posts : 132 Age : 67 Registration date : 2008-07-10

I just want to say that i too can identify with everything that has been said.
I know what it is like to love and hate the same person.

The only way i got peace was to forgive and let go and remember that this person has and is a beautiful soul. it is the soul that lives on and is perfect. And yet i could not forgive until that person had died.

dont know if any of that made sense.

Chris xx

that totally made sense to me hun, i too feel the same way... i try to be the better person but i cannot forgive and certainly i never will forgive the things this person has done... yet who is it thats living with the torment of not being able to forgive? its only me and my memories stopping me..and also the want... i dont want to forgive,,as harsh and non spiritual as that sounds.

bless you chris for sharing x

lou x

Wow i see what you mean by looking back and not believing you wrote this we are a deep emotional and thoughtful lot lol.
We really feel at the time we are ranting or talking nonsennse when looking now we have a lot to say that comes from the heart and the head.

I still feel the smae way as i did then nothing has changed maybe a bit more tolerant in my old age lol xx

Number of posts : 132 Age : 67 Registration date : 2008-07-10

This sometimes helps.

Sit down with pen and paper and write a letter to the person who has hurt you. Tell them how they have hurt you. Say everytiing you feel about that person and what they did to you. Swear at them and call them every name you can think of if you want. Tell them they are evil, bad, nasty, whatever comes to you.

When you have finished, take the paper and burn it. As it burns say something like; Please take these words/thoughts/feelings to the light to be transformed into pure white light to be used for my highest good.
Whenever these thoughts return to you, send them to the light and try to think of something positive.

The Angels of transmutation work in this way transmuting negative thoughts to the light so that they can be transformed into pure white light to be used for the good of all.

Angel Blessings to us all

xxxxxxxxxx

Thankyou so so much for posting this tip! It makes absolute sense to release the hurt and then send it to the light like that. I often put the person who hurt me in light but it doesn't always deal with the emotions, so this is a good way to deal with that.

Love, light and gratitude, Kerry

WOW what a topic ...will be back to this but just wanted to thank Chris for her post ,that is a great way to deal with hate or whatever /whoever is hurting you and one I am gonna do and so will Tricia ...blessings Chris and everyone one love and light for all your pains xxxxxxx love will conquer all.........

Number of posts : 132 Age : 67 Registration date : 2008-07-10

You are welcome Jane and everyone. If it helps even one person then it will have been worthwhile.

I have chosen at random an angel power card for us.

A rainbow Angel who is saying.

"Allow yourself the vision of joy and feel it".

Healing Angel
Loving those who cause you pain ~ moved from old url 4841180825a5887312093l

Chris thank you ,that angel is beautiful ...xxx

Subject: just my opinion RE: Hate Sun Apr 05, 2009 12:04 pm

JUST MY OPINION.

How I get rid of my hate disease when I feel it beginning to grow.
GO STRAIGHT TO THE LAST BIT TITLED VISUALIZATION. OR SEE BRIEF SUMMARY.

BRIEF SUMMARY: The Key is in practicing giving forgiveness, love, compassion, healing generously to others and TO YOURSELF. To remember we are all human and we screw up, we can get selfish, we hurt others-I know I have. You can hate the behaviour of someone and still love them even if the love has moved on to a different level. quick examp: I love my kids father but not in the same way as when I was "IN" love with him, he has faults-he's human, I tell the kids "Dont hate your dad-just hate the bad behaviour".

THE LONGER VERSION:
And sometimes it takes a whole lot of work to get out of Hate world because you DONT want to stop the hating-it might mean your being disloyal to someone you loved and was murdered-You dont want to forgive generously-who in their right mind would? I watched the movie "Deadman Walking"-over and over until I finally understood why it was so important to this nun to have this man who did such a horrific thing to admit to it and ask God for forgiveness. The first 10 times I said NoWay could I ever forgive this man, but then 10 more times the signs started to appear-and I thought Maybe with all my strength and all the stength from the entire spirit world I MIGHT find a way in time to forgive with the strength from God, the Source, Mother Mary, Jeasus ( who came to earth to teach us how to love, forgive, be generous, compassionate etc, then have all those people turn on him-he shows us by example how horrible we can be to each other, they beat him, spit on him, humiliated him, he carried that cross and it was heart breaking but he as well as Mother Mary, and those who loved him, they all knew this was the only way to get through to even just ONE person, those seeds of love, and goodness would spread, and as they pound spikes through his hands and feet what does he say-"Forgive them Lord for they no not what they do"! Thats just leaves me in"wow")

VISUALIATION TECHNIQUE TO BE RID OF HATE (depending on the severness of the Hurt). THIS IS GOOD FOR BETRAYALS, AND SUCH.

Visualize the hate you feel as an umbiblical cord(s) inside your heart and anywhere else like your mind, your soul, any place you feel the hate grow and visualize a sharp knife of your choice (I use a gold hand held sickel) cut the cord(s) from both the front of your heart, mind , and soul, then visualize cutting the ones from behind that you cant see but they are there, so say you cut one from the front of your heart-you would visualize cutting the other one growing from your spine into your heart etc, next visualize carrying them in your hand out to an Incinerator (mine is like a big brick fire place with the door up high) Open the door,toss in the cord(s), hit the lever and watch the black sootie ashes come out of the top up into the ethers where your angel will be there to take them away and will touch your hand with her other one giving you loving positive energy. It really works for me. Now if it is an intense reaction to someone treating you negatively and you hate that behavior, which I have a few-they do grow back- but the minute I find my self affected with that negativeness or feeling hate- I just do this exercise-it only takes 30 seconds( +or -)-and I feel great and send loving engergy to the person I felt the negative/ hate for and say some kind of loving affirmation God Bless him and his family, etc-something along those lines. Hope I helped in some way.

AND LASTLY (for anyone it may help):

I know how it feels and getting past the Hurt is so difficult-I believe when hurt so deeply I have to go through all the stages just like a death, hurt turns to anger, I get angry, and that anger makes me feel strong so I hold on to it, thus it goes into the stage of Hate, Hate protects me from the unbearable pain of what I could not face-facing it makes it true and the truth was too much for me to handle, so hate was my hiding place- I don't want to believe it to be true(denial). Finally, as enough time went by I didn't want to hate anymore-that was my sign I was ready to face the painful reality I hid from in my hate world. I also knew I cannot regain the happy positive person I lost in my hate world, and I would only grow to hate even more and be completely consumed with darkness. Then came the realization how I have hurt people myself through out my life- I can only be more mindful and work on this. I believe I dealing with hurt and hate is one of my purposes in this life, to be hurt and go through this process changed my thought pattern, the need to face the pain and accept help from guides, spirts, angels the light. I now practice to give forgiveness generously( I am not Holier than Thou) and I am human and screw up, I also cannot live in Not forgiviing MYSELF, it just brings you back to the negative and nobody wins, by self punishing your not healing the person you hurt, your not healing yourself, your not much good to anyone because that world makes you a total mess. I'll stop here. lol!
In much love, light ,and blessings,
-M. xo

Just one more thing-anyone in any kind of abusive relationship -get out as fast as you can. The abuser may truly love you, that is not any reason to stay EVER! That is a dangerous person, and all the sweet talking their way back in to your life and being on best behaviour only last so long and the abuse always starts in again. Other times the abuser is incapable of love and enjoys taking from you what he/she cannot have themselves then you cannot have it either. Really scary people!! Dont make excuses he/she is NEVER going to be the man you have in your mind that man(or woman) is YOUR fantasy and your believing he/she will become that fantasy is dangerous. There definitely will be love and hate going through you-its a dangerous roller coaster and you need to get away fast-and find safety. Verbal/Emotional abuse is just as dangerous the scars are on the inside and speaking from experience it can kill you-or drive you to the point of wanting to do it yourself just to stop the pain. I got out!! He never changed! He got worse as he got older!!. and an archaic belief is not to interfere-I interfere! If it means saving a life I will interfere. Be safe, be loved-anyone who deserves you would never abuse you in any way, they will love and cherish you always and you will never live in fear again-because you now know what true love feels like-it doesnt abuse.
In light, love, and many Angels protecting us all,

I love you

-M.

Very powerful post *M* , a lot of food for thought.

bless u for sharing and posting x

lou x

Subject: Jabberbox stikes again!! Mon Apr 06, 2009 9:49 am

I got real scared after posted-I thought "When are you going to learn to just be still?" At the time I was posting, it was like "you need to put this out there and take the risk". I didn't want to see the reply-I thought "I was gonna get my rearend beat off" for posting this. Thank you lou x- I don't want to get kicked off lovenlight, I must keep still more.
I love you

-M.

There is no way you'd get kicked off for posting this or anything just as powerful, heart-felt and true as it!! Please feel free to share your thoughts and feelings here without fear of being judged...we'r just not that type of group I love you

You wrote a fair bit and I need to go back and re-read it to post a justified response back but in the meantime I wanted to thank you for taking the time to share and get involved in our discussions.... thankyou!

catch up soon, Kerry x

Subject: loving those who cause pain. Mon Apr 06, 2009 5:15 pm

Thank you for easing my mind Kerry. You truly are kindness itself. I really appreciate how accepted you all make me feel. Its so true you are not in any way a judgemental circle of friends-I love you all for that. I did write a lot -thats why I got worried! - I really got on a roll.

-M.

Subject: sweet Kerry!! Thu Apr 09, 2009 3:38 pm

I thought I had replied to this- but I don't see it so I will again. Thank you Kerry! Your such a beautiful soul and loved very much-your words of kindness are so sweet. I know this circle of friends that I have found at lovenlight are definitely the most accepting non-judgemental souls, and I am thankful for all of you allowing me to be part. In light, love, and many Angels watching over all of us,
-M. xxxxxx

Subject: second post same subject Thu Apr 09, 2009 3:40 pm

My brain must be having issues because I swear that first post wasn't there a few minutes ago, thats why I wrote a second!!

Embarassed

-M.

lol..a senior moment? naaaaaaaaaaa lol...sometimes just takes a moment to show hun x lol x

sorry not laughing at you..laughing with you chickx i say laughing with you chick.xx..see...now im at it repreating meself lol

mwahhhhhhhhh

lou

I love our group! You all fill me will cheer! Very Happy

x

lou lmao! pls know I mos def can laugh at myself and encourage you all to laugh also when Im like "who am I?" "whats my name?" because there is no malice(dont know if I spelled that right but will leave it to laugh even more!!) Its just so awesome to me to have such a wonderful circle of friends that as ridiculous as it sounds I truly love you all so much!! You make me laugh and as you all know its like air for me, laughing is essential for me. And we are all one for all and all for one-I've known people I consider soul mates that I haven't confided so much in as my lovenlight family.) I stole that by the way from Sliding Doors-its one of the lines the Hero of the movie says! I love you

-M. big hugs and lots of laughter!
In light and blessings.

lmao dear *M*....am still wondering Who are you? Whats your name ? lol

bless u chickpea hope you had a lovely easter

mwah x

lou

Subject: mwah-lol!!! Tue Apr 14, 2009 6:45 pm

I love you my Sparleee Pixie big mwah right back at ya! haha I have some lips I wasnt gonna post them in case I creeped you out but Im gonna send them anyway since we have the same sense of humor-and for all I know you could be Petah Pan and not a Pixie at all!! Just kidding!!

Loving those who cause you pain ~ moved from old url Kissme11

Loving those who cause you pain ~ moved from old url Kissme11

LMAO!!!! -M.

rofllllllllllll im more of a tinka bell... short furry and funny...oh no wait thats more Robin Williams lol

love the lips ... lol x

lou x

Subject: LMAO Tue Apr 14, 2009 9:07 pm

LMAO!! Mainers or as the accent goes Mainahs, but if you have a name that actually ends with the ah sound we would add an er to it, Sarah =Sarer, Melissa=Melisser, lou=louer haha jk!! car=cah, park =pahrk. I sent you a bunch of lips because of the rollf!! My daughter hates it when I hug her 20 freakin yrs old and you'd think she'd have grown out of it by now-so every now and then I grab her and give her a hug but she is way stronger than me and can hold me away, so we end up laughing and in a wrestling match! She would HATE me sending the lips!! but she would still laugh! big hugs!! -M.

Loving those who cause you pain ~ moved from old url Kissme12

Loving those who cause you pain ~ moved from old url Kissme12

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